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Wow. Wow....WOOOOOOOOOW......
1 min read
Does...does deviantArt NOT allow uploads of sound files?
Here I thought the option existed since the interface seemed to take it. But...but it seems like it ultimately doesn't. And that there are no sections for people who make music.
That makes me sad. Bad form, dA. Bad form.
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PC's back. And Butt.
2 min read
Finally got my regular PC plugged in. Been yanking a couple online games off of the hard drive for some extra space.
Also, not sure what I'd like to do with my increased spare time. I've really wanted to get into making my own games, but I'm still feeling like there's not a lot I can do. The most that I've done was messing around with RPG Maker MV, which has lent to me not only an indispensable amount of experience in how RPG Maker in general works, but also gotten my foot into the door when it comes to using Game Maker Studio.
I kind of want to get GMS2 when I can afford it, and see where I can take it, but first off, I should probably devote more time to learning how to properly utilize GMS as well as getting friendly with my graphics tablet.
Or, I could just keep messing around in RPG Maker. I don't know what I want to do. I've got an unfinished project sitting in it, but I wanted more control over what my graphics are for it, which is why I was/am making the switch to GMS.
What should I do? I want some help in making this decision.
Also, not sure what I'd like to do with my increased spare time. I've really wanted to get into making my own games, but I'm still feeling like there's not a lot I can do. The most that I've done was messing around with RPG Maker MV, which has lent to me not only an indispensable amount of experience in how RPG Maker in general works, but also gotten my foot into the door when it comes to using Game Maker Studio.
I kind of want to get GMS2 when I can afford it, and see where I can take it, but first off, I should probably devote more time to learning how to properly utilize GMS as well as getting friendly with my graphics tablet.
Or, I could just keep messing around in RPG Maker. I don't know what I want to do. I've got an unfinished project sitting in it, but I wanted more control over what my graphics are for it, which is why I was/am making the switch to GMS.
What should I do? I want some help in making this decision.
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All The Wrong Reasons
3 min read
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Watchers, if you still visit this site: This is not meant to be a cry for pity, so if it comes off as that, I apologize. This is, however, meant to be a request for some form of coaching or advice in whatever I am not necessarily aware of about me. I get that most of you don't really know anything about me, but I just feel like I need to be spoken to about the issue above. This much, if you care to look, you will learn about me.
===========
I had to look back at my motives for doing art.
It's the same motive behind my playing online games, or even why I temperamentally care(d?) too much about my performance at work: I want to prove my worth.
I've got a chip on my shoulder the size of a capital star ship, if not bigger, and it's all about me and why I'm unapologetically and unprogressively pathetic when it comes to everything.
I don't want to do these things just to be good at them or to do them just because I have a want to do and no other reason behind it. I want to do them because I want to stand above, and that's not a good enough reason for it. It's why I simultaneously commit no action and no real progress in spiritual growth. I want to be better than people. That's not right. That's not even sane. I know that something within me is stopping me from even committing to a single goal other than single-player video games because that's about the only thing I can do with any degree of active neutrality.
What started this? Probably things in sixth or seventh grade that have turned into hazy memories of having my then and possibly still oversized ego bruised. I wasn't meritable back then, and haven't been for years. Come to think of it, I may not have ever been given any merits all throughout my school years. So, uh...why do I even care about that? That special bit of validation that says that "I'M S-M-R-T"?
Boils down to praise, and never getting any of it.
So really, I'm going to title drop and bring it back to that for the main part. I've been thinking about doing art for all the wrong reasons. I've been looking at my once childhood pick of a career where I wanted to be a game designer and seeing it as a piss-poor attempt to grab fame. Again, the wrong reasons. I didn't even really put out the right effort to even succeed towards that goal, anyway. Even I did like shit in my high school programming class. Every last thing that I've ever done in my life has been for the wrong reasons.
It wasn't for me to express myself.
It was for me to step on top of everyone and declare superiority.
Watchers, if you still visit this site: This is not meant to be a cry for pity, so if it comes off as that, I apologize. This is, however, meant to be a request for some form of coaching or advice in whatever I am not necessarily aware of about me. I get that most of you don't really know anything about me, but I just feel like I need to be spoken to about the issue above. This much, if you care to look, you will learn about me.
===========
I had to look back at my motives for doing art.
It's the same motive behind my playing online games, or even why I temperamentally care(d?) too much about my performance at work: I want to prove my worth.
I've got a chip on my shoulder the size of a capital star ship, if not bigger, and it's all about me and why I'm unapologetically and unprogressively pathetic when it comes to everything.
I don't want to do these things just to be good at them or to do them just because I have a want to do and no other reason behind it. I want to do them because I want to stand above, and that's not a good enough reason for it. It's why I simultaneously commit no action and no real progress in spiritual growth. I want to be better than people. That's not right. That's not even sane. I know that something within me is stopping me from even committing to a single goal other than single-player video games because that's about the only thing I can do with any degree of active neutrality.
What started this? Probably things in sixth or seventh grade that have turned into hazy memories of having my then and possibly still oversized ego bruised. I wasn't meritable back then, and haven't been for years. Come to think of it, I may not have ever been given any merits all throughout my school years. So, uh...why do I even care about that? That special bit of validation that says that "I'M S-M-R-T"?
Boils down to praise, and never getting any of it.
So really, I'm going to title drop and bring it back to that for the main part. I've been thinking about doing art for all the wrong reasons. I've been looking at my once childhood pick of a career where I wanted to be a game designer and seeing it as a piss-poor attempt to grab fame. Again, the wrong reasons. I didn't even really put out the right effort to even succeed towards that goal, anyway. Even I did like shit in my high school programming class. Every last thing that I've ever done in my life has been for the wrong reasons.
It wasn't for me to express myself.
It was for me to step on top of everyone and declare superiority.
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IT'S DUCK HUNTING SEASON, BOYS.
3 min read
No, it isn't really. They should have all gone south for the season, but I'm pretty sure that they can't quite make up their mind. Kinda like Kansas weather!
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I technically have no decent internet connection right now. Anyway, I'm stuck on a super Noro-Noro speed internet tether from my cell phone at the moment, which means that a lot of stuff isn't going to be happening until someone gets their taxes done (not me, already did mine) so that catch-up on the bills doesn't have to be a thing for the moment...
I'll be contacting the ISP after the house is caught up on that bill in order to see if there's a way to get the modem's IP range unbanned from PSN, or at least for them to set up a new IP range that isn't banned. We've had the rotten luck of getting hit with a blanket ban from PSN because of all of Phantom Squad's DDoS attacks against it, which is the real reason why I haven't bothered to plug in my PS4, because I can't enjoy playing it online at all. My brother's been pussyfooting around making the call to rectify that particular issue. That has me irritated that he doesn't bother since the ban affects his PS4, too.
No sense in complaining about the problem when there's also a delinquent bill, though, so one thing at a time.
Anyway, I started craving a return to Skyforge, and when I checked the forums earlier I saw that they changed some of the systems that I was familiar with. Well, armed with that knowledge in advance, I figured on starting up a new account for that game (I think you can only have one character per account on it), so that I can play it from the ground up and get a feel for the new changes when it's playable. It's not playable yet, because I'm still downloading it at some speed-of-ass dial-up level bullshit due to needing to use my cell phone for internet.
--I really need to pull my phone off of my brother's plan and set myself up for the fully unlimited 4G bandwidth. It's not terrible. In fact it was about as fast as using the regular internet connection while I still had 4G data to use for it. Now it's down to like, 10KB per second. Dude, that's the modem bandwidth that my first PC had with it's motherfucking 14.4 baud crap. It's time to upgrade a little. Hell, I could probably say screw the cable internet, and just use my tether.
By the way...speaking of cable internet...WHO THE FUCK IS SPECTRUM AND WHY HAVE I NOT HEARD OF THEM BEFORE THEY BOUGHT TIME WARNER CABLE?!
Anyway, I should be drawing, but I'm complaining in my Journal again just because I can, and also because I have things in my head that need to get out or else they're just going to roost and go BAGAWKCACAWBAWKBWAAK and other kinds of Cluckasaurus Rex noises. Cluckasaurus Rex, I should hang on to that one...
Satisfaction buaranteed! Wait...what? Time to go back to writing plot synopses! And texting :Aqua-Drannix: . And some drawing in between.
====
I technically have no decent internet connection right now. Anyway, I'm stuck on a super Noro-Noro speed internet tether from my cell phone at the moment, which means that a lot of stuff isn't going to be happening until someone gets their taxes done (not me, already did mine) so that catch-up on the bills doesn't have to be a thing for the moment...
I'll be contacting the ISP after the house is caught up on that bill in order to see if there's a way to get the modem's IP range unbanned from PSN, or at least for them to set up a new IP range that isn't banned. We've had the rotten luck of getting hit with a blanket ban from PSN because of all of Phantom Squad's DDoS attacks against it, which is the real reason why I haven't bothered to plug in my PS4, because I can't enjoy playing it online at all. My brother's been pussyfooting around making the call to rectify that particular issue. That has me irritated that he doesn't bother since the ban affects his PS4, too.
No sense in complaining about the problem when there's also a delinquent bill, though, so one thing at a time.
Anyway, I started craving a return to Skyforge, and when I checked the forums earlier I saw that they changed some of the systems that I was familiar with. Well, armed with that knowledge in advance, I figured on starting up a new account for that game (I think you can only have one character per account on it), so that I can play it from the ground up and get a feel for the new changes when it's playable. It's not playable yet, because I'm still downloading it at some speed-of-ass dial-up level bullshit due to needing to use my cell phone for internet.
--I really need to pull my phone off of my brother's plan and set myself up for the fully unlimited 4G bandwidth. It's not terrible. In fact it was about as fast as using the regular internet connection while I still had 4G data to use for it. Now it's down to like, 10KB per second. Dude, that's the modem bandwidth that my first PC had with it's motherfucking 14.4 baud crap. It's time to upgrade a little. Hell, I could probably say screw the cable internet, and just use my tether.
By the way...speaking of cable internet...WHO THE FUCK IS SPECTRUM AND WHY HAVE I NOT HEARD OF THEM BEFORE THEY BOUGHT TIME WARNER CABLE?!
Anyway, I should be drawing, but I'm complaining in my Journal again just because I can, and also because I have things in my head that need to get out or else they're just going to roost and go BAGAWKCACAWBAWKBWAAK and other kinds of Cluckasaurus Rex noises. Cluckasaurus Rex, I should hang on to that one...
Satisfaction buaranteed! Wait...what? Time to go back to writing plot synopses! And texting :Aqua-Drannix: . And some drawing in between.
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Present Working Title
1 min read
Is a wery, wery stewpit think.
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Anyway, I'm kind of starting to work on my figure references for characters. It's getting late, so I'm going to bed. Started -- kind of finished one. I meant to draw Trina before Keddis, but bewbs are my moortl emmy. That's why I'm going to do any future figures on paper and then scan for finishing touches.
Also need to look at, pay attention to, and attempt to draw from more of the panels in the comics that I read. The only reason for this is clothes. I need to draw clothes better. I know, for a fact, that clothes are not really flat. I have to at least be able to convey a body shape that they cover, rather than have them be some...god I fail to find the words for 'em. Paper cutouts that you stick on stuff? Bluh.
I'm going to bed. I'm wasting time.
====
Anyway, I'm kind of starting to work on my figure references for characters. It's getting late, so I'm going to bed. Started -- kind of finished one. I meant to draw Trina before Keddis, but bewbs are my moortl emmy. That's why I'm going to do any future figures on paper and then scan for finishing touches.
Also need to look at, pay attention to, and attempt to draw from more of the panels in the comics that I read. The only reason for this is clothes. I need to draw clothes better. I know, for a fact, that clothes are not really flat. I have to at least be able to convey a body shape that they cover, rather than have them be some...god I fail to find the words for 'em. Paper cutouts that you stick on stuff? Bluh.
I'm going to bed. I'm wasting time.
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